reevaluation

It’s been a strange weekend for me. Friday I was told (as mentioned in the previous blog) that the HCI Program at CMU probably would not be the right fit for me. After that I had a five-hour car ride to think about that. And to think about how sure I had been that this was the right thing for me to do. How I’d begun to order the next months around the idea of leaving Rochester in the fall. Suddenly, that had been changed and I felt like a rug had been pulled out from under me. Friday night I went out with Kodaker’s to see Tony DJ. I ended up leaving early as I was feeling exhausted and I had to be up early the next morning.

Saturday was better, for the most part at least. I helped run a martial arts seminar and then got to see an old friend earn her black belt (Go Kathleen!). After that a group went out for lunch at the Dinosaur BBQ (yum!). By the time I got back home Di had arrived from Pittsburgh. Her semester was up and she’s crashing at my place for the next few days and visiting friends before heading home. But the events of the day before were starting to creep in on me again and I was still feeling exhausted. That deep exhaustion, mixed with a hint of depression, that sets in when something that you worked hard on didn’t go the way you wanted. That pretty much hung over me for the rest of the day. (Sorry for seeming a little out of it when we talked Tina).

By Sunday I was feeling a bit better. I accepted that it’s ok to feel crappy about things like this and started to turn my energy towards more positive action. For example, I began to investigate the schools that the director of the CMU HCI program suggested I look at. I don’t know if I have enough time to apply to either of them, but anything is possible. :-)